‘Əlu Ver’: How Azerbaijanis Say Excuse Me

I bump into people quite frequently; it is a side-effect of being perpetually unable to walk in a straight line.

In my previous life this simply meant dodging moving vehicles and velocipeds (it occurs to me that last word may not be English, but I like the alliteration) and mumbling apologies and excuses to anyone I inconvenienced en-route to wherever I was headed.

It turns out there is a little bit more ceremony involved in these encounters in Azerbaijan. The idea: ‘əlu ver’ – a social nicety that translates as ‘give me your hand.’

When I first arrived in country, this concept confused my culture shock addled mind. I didn’t understand why when I bumped into someone on the street or stepped on their toes (literally – the figurative instances are a whole different category), they would turn around and offer me their hands. Just because I was a foreigner and clearly lacked any sort of social grace didn’t mean that you could use any excuse to make my acquaintance.
I would stare dumbly at the offered limb until it crossed into my personal space and squeezed my hand.

Eventually I realized that this misshapen meet-and-greet served another purpose – a gesture of apology. But even once I understood the intention behind it – it would still take me more than a fraction of a second to act in the way that I knew was expected of me. And extended arms were forced to take the initiative. I did get a little better about this but it was still a jolt to the system – I like my bubble; stay out of it.

Finally somewhere between the awkward outcome of an unintentional game of footsie with Latifa my during first month in the village and the well-intentioned ‘xamins’ who have jostled me on the bus for the last year and a half, I have finally acquired the muscle memory to complete this social grace without delay.

“Əlu Ver”: Unconscious Acts of Assimilation Achieved
- A woman stepped on my toes getting off the bus and my hand was outstretched almost before I had processed the pressure on my trainers (or the baby dangling precariously in her arms)
- I was making my way towards the door at “Whole Foods” when I slipped on the mud-guard cardboard, bumping into the shop-keeper stocking the shelves. My hand was extended behind me before I regained my footing (and to a male no less!).
- I just know I am going to need to apologise to the woman I need to climb over to get into my seat on the bus every morning, so I am 80% sure the way I shuffle my bags around before boarding is to accommodate for this fact.