22 Hours In The Stratosphere (December)

The flight between Azerbaijan and Dubai was harmless.
The in-flight movie was a rom-com set in a restaurant staring Catherine Zeta-Jones. The food was tolerable. The two old men in the seats next to me split their newly purchased duty-free toffees with me, then spiked their cokes with some duty-free vodka and slept for the remainder of the flight. Three hours later – at 1AM I was on the ground in Dubai. I had an hour and a half to get to my next plane.

It was a long walk – or rather a fairly short walk down what felt like a never-ending hallway. Twenty minutes later I was at the check-in counter and a nice young man (who could have been a slightly older, slightly taller doppleganger for a dear friend of mine) confirmed my seat and called down to the baggage handlers to make sure that my bag would make it onto my plane. Once at my gate, I used the airport WiFi (Cool!) to send a message to the parents confirming I had survived leg one of my journey. Dad wrote back that he had just landed in Houston. Excellent.

And so began Part II…

I had a window seat next to a guy who asked if I thought the stewardess would give him some valium to help him sleep. The guy in the aisle seat pointed out that this was probably prohibited (His word not mine.) I promptly wrapped my scarf around my head village girl style and attempted to sleep.

The movie part of my in-flight entertainment wasn’t really co-operative, so I contented myself with a 2010 country music compilation and some Taylor Swift and Tim McGraw. For 4 hours. Then part of an audio book that inspired Bones. For 45 minutes. Temperance Brennan in Montreal. Pardon!

Also, I was seated in the row where they always run out of choices at mealtime. So I had airplane rogan josh three times. (I don’t even like rogan josh when Mom makes it).

Needless to say… Hours 7, 10 and 15 were particularly soul-destroying.

But at last I was at on the ground in Houston. I was fascinated by the guy in the row in front of me playing with a technological gadget I had never seen before while I waited at immigration. I breezed through customs with my fig preserves and ‘early-release’ DVDs intact.

Then I could see Dad on the other side of the glass doors. (He was kinda hard to miss in his fluorescent yellow Chelsea jersey). Mom was off to side. (I wouldn’t want to associate with Dad in that outfit either.)

And I was home. (Already demanding that we look into a business class upgrade on the return flight.) 24 hours ahead of the original schedule. But still pining for Wagamama’s. And BBF time. Stupid snow…

Rhett Butler was waiting in the car in the parking lot. And there was one of those new technological gadgets on the front seat, so my curiosity was promptly satisfied. Apparently iPad was the new iPod...